Somehow I've managed to lose an entire month. Mostly a long, deep trough of depression, highlighted with a few episodes of the mean reds, my life for the past few weeks has been a disorganized mess. I am seriously lacking the one thing I need most - structure. I've tried self imposing, but getting out of bed has been so hard and, having already messed up my carefully planned schedule, it just seems kind of pointless to pick it up later - it's so much easier to just wait and try again tomorrow. And that way points directly toward failure city.
I'm not very good at kicking my own ass.
The list of things I need to do is growing. I'm not writing, I'm not working, I'm not exercising, I'm not studying. It's not like I have a difficult life - I'm just avoiding discomfort. I probably should explore that a bit, try to delve into what it means and why I'm doing it.
Or I could just get off my butt and do something.
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