Of Love....

I have talked to you, talked,

dark Lifter of Mountains,

About this old love,

from birth after birth.

Don't go, don't,

Lifter of Mountains,

Let me offer a sacrifice—myself—

beloved,

to your beautiful face.

Come, here in the courtyard,

dark Lord,

The women are singing auspicious wedding songs;

My eyes have fashioned

an altar of pearl tears,

And here is my sacrifice:

the body and mind

Of Mira,

the servant who clings to your feet,

through life after life,

a virginal harvest for you to reap.

--Mira Bai

The Heavily Sedated Bride

I'm officially only days away from my OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I"M DOING THIS wedding. The first five months were easy, I felt so proud of myself for not going all Bridezilla and being controlling over every step and every detail. Of course, I shouldn't have expected that to last.

Now it feels like a race to the finish, and I'm in second or third place heading into the final straightaway. So many things about the ceremony have not been finalized, and appointments are constantly delayed. The original priest will not be doing the ceremony, and I have not heard back on if the second choice is available. The music ministry meetings have met with a series of unfortunate events and have not yet happened. My hairstylist moved to another salon and it took me over a week to find her. The menu at the reception has to be changed. I need to find/make/rent decorations for the church. Programs need to be printed. Transportation needs to be acquired. I have a metric fuckton of thank you notes to write. I ONLY HAVE 29 DAYS TO FINALIZE THINGS (including today.)

I am popping Valium like pez. Please, I just want to get through this without killing myself or anyone around me.