I'm kind of disappointed in myself for not packing any books today, but I woke up late and ended up spending the day just enjoying the freedom of being alone. Plus, the next decision I need to make is about my sci-fi/fantasy paperbacks, and I really don't want to make those choices right now. I have several shelves worth of books by Piers Anthony, David Eddings, and Anne McCaffrey, and I really just don't know if I want to keep them. The problem is, if I get rid of them, then I'm going to want to read them. If I keep them, then I'll never think to read them. It's a reoccurring problem for me with this genre. Plus, paperbacks take up a lot more shelf space than I am really comfortable with.
Yesterday I managed to pack all of the manga that I am keeping, a good chunk of my 20th century literature, and my Hunter S. Thompson collection. 235 items so far, or maybe 5 1/2 shelves of books. Which leaves...maybe 14 shelves to catalog and pack, if I choose to keep them. Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a frame of mind to get back to work.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Getting in the Groove
Today, I make a start to my moving adventure! It's a bit later in the day that I wanted to start, but it's been so hot outside....
With any luck I will scan and pack my manga at least - I always feel better when I have a defined goal in mind.
With any luck I will scan and pack my manga at least - I always feel better when I have a defined goal in mind.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
An Inherently Harmonious Relationship
Prince of Tennis has been one of my favorite anime series for some time now, and I am re-watching it while introducing it to a friend. Because I am watching anime in Japanese with subtitles (I rarely listen to dubs) I often miss little cultural things that aren't explained because they would not need to be for the target audience.
Today I stumbled across one in Prince of Tennis that had baffled me for the longest time, and that makes me happy. I now understand what the whole "AH! UN!" thing that was in the Momo/Ryo doubles match, and the underlying subtext that makes it particularly funny.
Accomplishments this early in the morning make me happy.
Today I stumbled across one in Prince of Tennis that had baffled me for the longest time, and that makes me happy. I now understand what the whole "AH! UN!" thing that was in the Momo/Ryo doubles match, and the underlying subtext that makes it particularly funny.
Accomplishments this early in the morning make me happy.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Shades of Grey
(I'm not sure where this post is going, I'm mostly trying to figure something out in my head.)
In my view, the world is mostly not binary. There are facts, but there is no absolute truth. My interpretation of a set of facts will never be the same as another person's interpretation.
Being aware of that, and because of my strong belief that I do not have the right to interfere with someone else's life journey, I tend to be very tolerant of other people's behavior provided it does me no harm. I'm not sure if that is the best way to explain it, but it is what comes to mind right at this moment. As an individual I may choose to not associate with someone because they say or do things that cause me hurt or discomfort, but I feel it would be a great wrongness for me to try to enforce my code of ethics on them, because my view may not be the best view for them.
The times when this is hardest, the times when I don't know what to do and when I become anxious and disturbed, are when I am dealing with someone who has a very narrow interpretation of what is right and wrong and is very passionate about enforcing their view of how things should be. On the one hand, I accept their view as valid for them, but when those views impact other people's lives I find myself stepping in to try to hold them back, because I think that they do not know what damage they can cause by forcing someone else to conform to their limited worldview. But then, I have to think that I am attempting to force that person, who feels very passionately about their view, to conform to my view.
It's all very confusing.
At times like these, I'm not sure what is the right thing to do. Do I step up to try to protect others, or do I stand back and let each person deal with the situation as they see fit? It's easier when I am dealing with the situation as an individual, but what if I am in a position of responsibility? Is it OK for me to stand back and let those who I have made a commitment to serve sink or swim according to their own abilities, or do I have a duty to step in and protect them?
This is, I think, the main reason why I should not be a leader.
In my view, the world is mostly not binary. There are facts, but there is no absolute truth. My interpretation of a set of facts will never be the same as another person's interpretation.
Being aware of that, and because of my strong belief that I do not have the right to interfere with someone else's life journey, I tend to be very tolerant of other people's behavior provided it does me no harm. I'm not sure if that is the best way to explain it, but it is what comes to mind right at this moment. As an individual I may choose to not associate with someone because they say or do things that cause me hurt or discomfort, but I feel it would be a great wrongness for me to try to enforce my code of ethics on them, because my view may not be the best view for them.
The times when this is hardest, the times when I don't know what to do and when I become anxious and disturbed, are when I am dealing with someone who has a very narrow interpretation of what is right and wrong and is very passionate about enforcing their view of how things should be. On the one hand, I accept their view as valid for them, but when those views impact other people's lives I find myself stepping in to try to hold them back, because I think that they do not know what damage they can cause by forcing someone else to conform to their limited worldview. But then, I have to think that I am attempting to force that person, who feels very passionately about their view, to conform to my view.
It's all very confusing.
At times like these, I'm not sure what is the right thing to do. Do I step up to try to protect others, or do I stand back and let each person deal with the situation as they see fit? It's easier when I am dealing with the situation as an individual, but what if I am in a position of responsibility? Is it OK for me to stand back and let those who I have made a commitment to serve sink or swim according to their own abilities, or do I have a duty to step in and protect them?
This is, I think, the main reason why I should not be a leader.
Monday, August 22, 2011
That Which Must Be Shed
So, in about six weeks I get to experience moving again. I'm relocating to a small studio apartment in the heart of the city. I have so many conflicting feelings about this move and the circumstances around it, but I have to trust my instinct that it is the right thing for me to do.
I've never lived in a studio apartment, but I've imagined it many times, and planned it out in my head over and over. Now that it is going to be a reality, I find that I have to rethink my ideas and work them into something practical. I have to think, "what things do I need to do in my space?" My visions of over-sized chaise lounges and Victorian style decorations are going out the window. I'm going to have to minimize more than I've ever done in my life. It's a frightening prospect, and one I cannot delay - I need to start making choices and getting rid of things now.
While looking for ideas on minimalizing, I stumbled across Zen Habits. The site looks interesting; the information is not anything I haven't heard before, but having it all in one place is rather helpful. While reading some of the older posts, I started making changes in my plans for what I will need in the new apartment. If I can keep things simple, I should be able to make my life a lot easier.
That said, no matter how much I want to keep things simple and clean and stuff, I'm not willing to let go of any of my books. Yes, I have a ton of them, but there is not a single book that is excess. Every book is loved and cherished, and if I get rid of anything I'm just going to purchase it again somewhere down the line (yes, this have happened before. Multiple times, even.) I'm terribly afraid my apartment is going to end up looking like a library with a bed stuck in the middle. ^_^
I've never lived in a studio apartment, but I've imagined it many times, and planned it out in my head over and over. Now that it is going to be a reality, I find that I have to rethink my ideas and work them into something practical. I have to think, "what things do I need to do in my space?" My visions of over-sized chaise lounges and Victorian style decorations are going out the window. I'm going to have to minimize more than I've ever done in my life. It's a frightening prospect, and one I cannot delay - I need to start making choices and getting rid of things now.
While looking for ideas on minimalizing, I stumbled across Zen Habits. The site looks interesting; the information is not anything I haven't heard before, but having it all in one place is rather helpful. While reading some of the older posts, I started making changes in my plans for what I will need in the new apartment. If I can keep things simple, I should be able to make my life a lot easier.
That said, no matter how much I want to keep things simple and clean and stuff, I'm not willing to let go of any of my books. Yes, I have a ton of them, but there is not a single book that is excess. Every book is loved and cherished, and if I get rid of anything I'm just going to purchase it again somewhere down the line (yes, this have happened before. Multiple times, even.) I'm terribly afraid my apartment is going to end up looking like a library with a bed stuck in the middle. ^_^
Monday, August 15, 2011
Today, A Bit Lazy
Lazy may not be the best word, but today I'm really not up for much. I slept well into the afternoon, my back is giving me problems again, I can't attend the event I wanted to tonight, and I really don't have much to say. I'm meditating over a cup of black tea and wishing I had someone here to share it with.
I haven't really been in a social mood. Rather, it would be more accurate to say that I am demoralized by the directions of the groups in which I participate and really am not inclined to immerse myself in them right now. Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's just my mental state, maybe it's that they are changing in ways that no longer appeal to me. Time will tell, I suppose.
My desire right now is peace, quiet, and stability in my life. I need a sturdy support if I am to climb higher and accomplish the things I want to do, but right now it feels like I'm standing in quicksand, so my first priority is to stabilize myself physically and mentally. I have plans, I don't know how feasible they are.
I don't have much to say today, but I do have one link to share today, from one of my favorite websites: McSweeny's Internet Tendency.
Unit Test: A Train Leaves the Station at 2:00 PM
Enjoy, and hopefully things will improve as the week progresses.
I haven't really been in a social mood. Rather, it would be more accurate to say that I am demoralized by the directions of the groups in which I participate and really am not inclined to immerse myself in them right now. Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's just my mental state, maybe it's that they are changing in ways that no longer appeal to me. Time will tell, I suppose.
My desire right now is peace, quiet, and stability in my life. I need a sturdy support if I am to climb higher and accomplish the things I want to do, but right now it feels like I'm standing in quicksand, so my first priority is to stabilize myself physically and mentally. I have plans, I don't know how feasible they are.
I don't have much to say today, but I do have one link to share today, from one of my favorite websites: McSweeny's Internet Tendency.
Unit Test: A Train Leaves the Station at 2:00 PM
Enjoy, and hopefully things will improve as the week progresses.
Water, Water Everywhere.
I'm a big fan of Zojirushi products anyway (I have the fuzzy logic rice cooker, and it's the best one I've ever owned, and the hot pot is on my want list.)
I'm learning a lot about tea from The Duchess, and am slowly developing a palate for things other than southern style sweet tea and Japanese usucha (thin tea made from matcha.)
My only problem is...well, I like to drink tea. Having heated water on tap pretty much ensures that I will think about having a cup any time I walk past the warmer. I think on one day I had over three full liters of black tea over the course of six hours or so!
My only problem with the warmer is the time it takes to change temperature - it holds wonderfully at a single temp, but if you want to switch from black tea to green, it's going to take about four hours for the water to drop to an acceptable level. Also, if you top up the water it has to reboil and cool again, which takes a while. I've gotten around this by deciding a day before what kind of tea I will be drinking - so far that had worked out pretty well. Today was a green tea day, tomorrow it's back to the black.
Having tea available anytime I want makes life just a little bit more pleasant. I wish I could have some now....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tea with the Duchess on Vacation
Another day of tea with the Duchess, and this time we are on vacation, hidden away in the mountains, far from the hectic world that is my home. I cherish these moments, because they are so very rare, and because tea with her is always an adventure.
The tea today is a green, though it is so dark that she sees the dry leaves almost as a dark gray. When I turn the cup to look I see the darkness, but it throws off a reflection of deep olive green, like fir needles under snow.
Wet the leaves are lighter, but still very intense in color. I smell in them seaweed and sweetness and rainforest rolled together in confusion, not a one overpowering the others. I am intreagued by the combination; green teas are ofted very vegetal or grassy to me, or very floral. I find myself wondering if the sweetness will blossom into flowers.
I bury myself in the aroma of the brewed tea, and find myself in a world of morning dew and springtime clover laid over purple and velvet and opium dreams. A green for sure, but a green as deep and dark as the leaves promised; a green carrying secrets and sensuality and the soft slow movement of a primordial river. A hint of something astringent behind, catching at the very back of the throat, just enough to snap you into awareness before heavy night flowers drag you back into it's grasp.
The first sip - surprisingly astringent, almost salty, but sweet like violet petals. I don't know what this tea is, she didn't tell me and I didn't ask, but to me is soft and dark and decending into stillness. A longer taste and the bitterness is more appearant, but so is the depth. I want to drown in this tea. A slight smokiness lingers like gunpowder in the air.
I close my eyes and I find myself in a dark back room in some squalid city south of the equator, a sense of danger and intrigue and paramilitary troops in the streets in green fatigues and berets. No tribal drums here, just heat and danger and that sweet current of adreneline that comes with the territory if you are the type that dances on that particular knife's edge.
I come to the end of the cup unexpectedly, lost in the vision and wanting to return.
The tea today is a green, though it is so dark that she sees the dry leaves almost as a dark gray. When I turn the cup to look I see the darkness, but it throws off a reflection of deep olive green, like fir needles under snow.
Wet the leaves are lighter, but still very intense in color. I smell in them seaweed and sweetness and rainforest rolled together in confusion, not a one overpowering the others. I am intreagued by the combination; green teas are ofted very vegetal or grassy to me, or very floral. I find myself wondering if the sweetness will blossom into flowers.
I bury myself in the aroma of the brewed tea, and find myself in a world of morning dew and springtime clover laid over purple and velvet and opium dreams. A green for sure, but a green as deep and dark as the leaves promised; a green carrying secrets and sensuality and the soft slow movement of a primordial river. A hint of something astringent behind, catching at the very back of the throat, just enough to snap you into awareness before heavy night flowers drag you back into it's grasp.
The first sip - surprisingly astringent, almost salty, but sweet like violet petals. I don't know what this tea is, she didn't tell me and I didn't ask, but to me is soft and dark and decending into stillness. A longer taste and the bitterness is more appearant, but so is the depth. I want to drown in this tea. A slight smokiness lingers like gunpowder in the air.
I close my eyes and I find myself in a dark back room in some squalid city south of the equator, a sense of danger and intrigue and paramilitary troops in the streets in green fatigues and berets. No tribal drums here, just heat and danger and that sweet current of adreneline that comes with the territory if you are the type that dances on that particular knife's edge.
I come to the end of the cup unexpectedly, lost in the vision and wanting to return.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Comfort Level
I don't expect this world to make me comfortable.
The world is full of things that make me uncomfortable. Icy cold rooms, noisy crowds, and flashing lights put me on edge. People who swear like sailors in public or indulge in excessive public displays of affection seriously offend me (I'm not talking about holding hands or hugs and kisses, I'm talking about extended tonsil hockey sessions and under-clothing groping at the mall.) Watching someone chew with their mouth open makes me retch.
These things make me uncomfortable, but I have to bear them. Why? Because regardless of how much discomfort it causes me, it is their right to do these things. My desire to feel comfortable anyplace outside of my own house, or even my own room is, in my opinion, trumped by their right to do anything in public that is not unlawful. If I don't like it, then it it my responsibility to move away.
It is not my place to tell anyone else how to live their lives, or what decisions to make, or how to act. it's not my place to tell you that you are a bad person, or a bad parent, or a bad influence.
My strong belief in personal liberty is such that I will defend someone else's rights even if they make me uncomfortable. I don't consider myself a political person - I'm registered, I vote, and I follow politics at both the local and federal level, but I generally don't get involved anymore. My protest days are well behind me, a part of my high school and college memories - I am far too old and tired to raise hell over the little things. I only become inflamed and speak out when restrictions are placed on what I feel are my (or someone else's) rights as a citizen of the United States and as an intelligent sentient being.
This world does not exist to make me feel safe. It is because this world does not keep me safe that I am truly able to experience life.
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