Today feels like a good day. I took a sleeping pill last night, so managed a full eight hours, and woke up without any significant anxiety. I have things to do today, and I feel as if I have the mental ability to get through them as long as I don't let myself get overwhelmed.
I don't have anything special scheduled for tonight, so I'm going to spend the free time watching movies, I think. Take it easy. The last few weeks have been rough.
I realize that I am in the process of becoming myself. For a brief moment (for I am sure I will forget this when the clouds cover my mind again) I can see clearly what I want to be when the drugs are gone and there is nothing left but what I carry in my soul. It's harder to explain than I thought it would be - I see it clearly in my mind's eye but words fail me.
I'm glad that I'm tapering during the winter; it feels fitting that I should be healing during the dark days and will be clean when spring returns and brings renewal. I hope that I will be renewed at the same time.
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