It seems I am not destined to simply lay down and die; something keeps fighting to keep me alive, so I will follow it and see where it leads. I must admit that I don't have much faith in these urges - every decision I make is pointed out to me as being the absolute worst one I could make, and it's true it seems every time I make a change I fall further into the abyss that is my life. Maybe it's just depression from the withdrawal that is clouding me, but I just don't know what the right thing to do is anymore.
I can't really afford it, but I'm going to take in one of my cats sooner than expected. Perhaps having something living here will inspire me to live as well. Caring for it will take up what little money I had spare next month, but I think it will be worth it.
If I can pull myself together for a few hours, maybe I will go to the pool and get some sun.
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