Ashes

I haven't thrown in the towel, though goodness knows it's been tempting.  It's harder than it seems, keeping everything inside.  A sleepless night; lonely, hurting, crying out in the darkness knowing that there was never anyone there to hear.  Ghosts are all that remain in my life, they follow me everywhere. Ghosts of friends, ghosts of loved ones - there is nothing but ashes.  Is it really all my fault?  Do I have to take the blame for everything?  It's more than one person should have to bear.