Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Every time I try to settle myself into my faith, my church does something that makes me question if I'm making the right choice.

I am a Catholic. Born into it and raised in it through childhood. As a young adult I lapsed and studied new age and eastern religions. I spent maybe twelve years as a practicing Wiccan. I believe that, for the most part, differing religions can each have a grasp on the truth. I don't believe there is One True Way that is right for everyone. I just believe that my current path is the right one for me.

Sometime, however, it seems like the Catholic Church is doing what it can to shake my beliefs. This includes things like the Church's views on abortion and on GLBT members. I mean, I agree with the church's stance to a certain point, but somehow it often gets taken to a level that to me goes against a christ-like worldview.

There are two articles in the newspaper right now that have me wondering. One is about a third grader who was denied admission into a catholic school because his parents are lesbian. The other is local, where a "Catholic nun and longtime administrator of St. Joseph's Hospital" was demoted and a critically ill woman excommunicated because she was allowed an abortion to save her life.

Both decisions seem terribly wrong headed to me, but the second one actually filled me with rage against our Bishop Olmert. I understand that life is precious and believe it very strongly, but I fail to see how two deaths would be morally more correct than one. Could any doctor or nurse truly sit by and let her die rather than abort the child? I know that I could not. I also know that, if I were in this situation, my church would rather me die. It's so very hard to understand, and how can I not think of such things when I pray, asking God if that is truly his will, or if his messengers on earth have distorted his will to please themselves.

I am so disturbed and full of anger that I cannot think well of my church right now. It's so very hard.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2010/05/15/20100515phoenix-catholic-nun-abortion.html

http://www.azcentral.com/community/phoenix/articles/2010/05/14/20100514stjoseph0515bishop.html